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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230365">My Crescendo</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_a_Siren/pseuds/Not_a_Siren'>Not_a_Siren</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lukanette Requested Oneshots [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bathtubs, Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Haunted!Luka, Lukanette, Mentioned Character Death, Mentions of Viperbug, Mentions of Vipernette, Nightmares, Second Chance, Time Manipulation, bad memories, poor luka, you get cuddles tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:54:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230365</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_a_Siren/pseuds/Not_a_Siren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompts: (17) “I can’t sleep, can I stay here?” &amp; (29) “You could have warned me!”</p><p>Being a miraculous holder is great and all, but no one stops to think the horrible things Luka must have seen as Viperion in between his second chances. Sure, they're pushed to the back of his head so he can go onward, but they still creep forwards in his sleep and alone moments, turning his state of mind into a nightmare that always seeks out Marinette for comfort.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luka Couffaine | Viperion/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng &amp; Tikki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Lukanette Requested Oneshots [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Crescendo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>#AskLukaIfHe'sOkay2020</p><p>oh... he S O F T</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s around 12 at night when she finishes an album design for Kitty Section.</p><p>She stretches out, leaning this way and that as she rises from the pillow on the floor besides the coffee table. Being hunched forwards for the better half of five hours leaves the entirety of her muscles sore and she tosses the idea of getting in bed right away out the window. Instead she quietly pulls out one of her favorite hoodies and a fresh pair of underwear, laying it on her side of the bed.</p><p>She lets her hand gently brush over his electric blue and raven black locks before retreating into the bathroom in his room.</p><p>She had planned to return to her place and sleep there, believing she could knock out the album cover within two hours or less. In spite of her beliefs, Luka gave her a lazed kiss to her head from where she sat, absorbed in her work, before heading off to bed from another tiring day of being a musician. She was fairly certain today entailed to the creation of their concert’s next set list, then a vigorous dance practice that always seemed to drain him.</p><p>She returned by his side for the time duration it took to fill the tub with hot water and bubbles, running a careful hand through his hair and stroking along his cheekbones. She wanted to lay with him more than anything. To curl into his side, to draw him to rest on top of her with his head on her chest, to be completely tangled with one another. But the idea of how stiff her back felt and it laying against a solid surface didn’t sound as enticing as a hot bath to loosen her muscles and relax her did.</p><p>Marinette sat in the large tub, admiring the plants she slowly left within his apartment. He had a stand alone shower and a bathtub in one room, meaning she could make little DIYs that just screamed her and hang them by the small hooks so you could stare at them as you soaked in the water. She hadn’t notice the door creep open a little more with music blasting in her earbuds of one of his solo careered songs that was a more subdued tempo.</p><p>She jumped a little when she felt him slide in behind her and pull her close by her hips. His head fell to rest against her shoulder, soft hair tickling her neck and cheek while his arms rested on his knees that bracketed her between them.</p><p>“Thought you were tired,” she teased. She frowned when she didn’t feel his lips at her shoulder blade move in response, taking her earbuds out to listen closely to him.</p><p>Instead, she heard a soft sniff before he grounded his face further into her skin. His hands visibly shook as they formed fists and unclenched repeatedly. Her hand came up to stroke the back of his neck, accidentally soaking it and trailing bubbles along the expanse of skin.</p><p>“Another memory?” He nodded, another sniff escaping him. “Was it me?”</p><p>“It’s almost always you,” he whispered back, letting her guide his arms to wrap around her as his tremors shifted against her waist. “The feel of you slipping from my grasp, the sound of you screaming, your body hitting the earth below, I can’t get rid of that.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, love.” She turned to face him a little, the tale tell sign of his lower lip wobbling enough to press a kiss to his cheek. She thumbed the tear streaks, noticing his already red eyes.</p><p>He avoided his gaze, shifting his head slightly and opting to find his grounding by leaning into her right hand that rested again his cheek where she held him, lips pressing to her palm.</p><p>“I woke up and you weren’t there, and I..I don’t know why but for a few moments I thought it was a permanent reality and almost lost it.” His voice shook with a heavy tone of sadness, part of him remembering one of the first nightmares that resulted in him making a late night visit to her balcony where he cried in her arms and sobbed a “<em>you could’ve warned me!”</em></p><p>Now, he just spoke the truth in the quickest way possible, refusing to relive it for a third time and always praying she was nearby to hold on to just to ensure she was alive and really there. He hated the time they spent apart because they lived separately from one another and struggled everyday to not bluntly ask her to move in with him. Being the wielder of the snake miraculous was the hardest job, right up there with Alix as well. Both saw unspeakable and horrible occurrences where someone was late on their feet, someone got hurt or killed, whatever.</p><p>It took a heavy toll on Luka the most because he was used more often than she was, since time was a delicate matter to play with. His miraculous adapted to his needs and learned to push the worst of events to the farthest depths of his mind so he couldn’t remember them when calling out critiques after a second chance, to keep his head in the game.</p><p>But they were still present and he didn’t forget them, always being visited by the memories in forms of nightmares.</p><p>Marinette blinked away the burning sensation in her eyes. Leaning back into his bare chest and feeling him adjust so his chin sat on her shoulder, she traced his arms around her with the bubbles.</p><p>All he needed was to hold her, that was it.</p><p>Luka was a human being and needy like one too, touch starved and looking for affection. Unlike others though, he didn’t speak his wants allowed and tried to conceal everything he wished to ask for. The longer him and Marinette were together, the harder it became to suppress the itch of wanting to be hers completely and vise versa.</p><p>“Tell me something I don’t know, love.” She whispered, offering him a distraction.</p><p>He thought for a bit while she smiled at their situation from an outside perspective.</p><p>To be in a hot bathtub with bubbles and low lighting, having your attractive girlfriend or boyfriend pressed up against you and just holding you with an immense amount of love in their eyes but not looking to press the situation forwards.</p><p>She always knew they both were truly in love with one another when he first appeared after a rough battle and bandaged her up. They first started dating then and he dropped in through her skylight, asking if she was okay only to find her struggling to take her bra off where the cup dug into a deep cut that would take the healing power of a miraculous to clear up. That was a few days away then and meant she would have to manage it herself and wear bulky tops to keep her parents from seeing the bruises and cuts that littered her upper half.</p><p>He stopped mid question, turning her around to face away from him and asking if he could help her. He never once looked at her with an ulterior motive or acted on it, didn’t let his attention draw to her bare chest or touch her unless to comfort her or aid her. He just tended to her wounds, detransformed to take off a hoodie he had been wearing and crouched down in front of her as she put it on, offering a soft smile instead before he spent the night stroking her hair until they both fell asleep.</p><p>She asked him about it later on and he said that while he hadn’t wanted that to be the first time seeing her half naked and didn’t make a move to take her to bed or suggest he wanted to, she was still beautiful to him and there’s times where your love for someone outweighs the need to have them sexually. Saying, “You’re so incredibly beautiful to me and I love you, but there’s more intimate ways to show it than taking you to bed and having you. Sometimes just being with you is as intense as that.”</p><p>“Um, okay, something you don’t know.”</p><p>“Mhm,” she gave, closing her eyes and feeling him nuzzle her cheek as he calmed down. This was almost always what he needed, to hold her.</p><p>“When I first met you and had your number, I saved you under as ‘My Crescendo’ instead of your name for a long while.”</p><p>“I don’t understand,” she frowned, tilting her head up to meet his aflame cheeks.</p><p>“It was stupid, I had a massive crush on you and to mask it I compensated by opting for a musical term and expression.”</p><p>“What’s it mean?”</p><p>“Well, I, a crescendo is the loudest point in a gradual increase of music, it’s the height of its intensity.”</p><p>“And that means?” She giggled, his button nose twitching near her ear.</p><p>“It’s dumb. I kept hearing your melody in my head and my heart raced thinking of it, of you, seeing and being near you. I called you my crescendo instead of my crush because it was as intense as one.”</p><p>A smile threatened to show, but she snorted instead. “How embarrassing for you, a punk rockstar with a crush on me.”</p><p>“Shut up,” he replied, but his smile could be felt against her skin when he raised their joined hands, hers intertwined from behind his, and rested his palm above her breast and against her heart, feeling how it too raced for him.</p><p>“If it’s any consolation, I saved you under a blue and black heart emoji after you first played my melody for me outside the bakery.”</p><p>His grin widened, “Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>She heard another soft residue sniff, letting her know his mind was still elsewhere and struggling to stay in the set reality he helped fixed as she ran her thumb over the back of his hand. “Yeah, I always had a crush on you since we met. It just seemed to shift into something else entirely that one moment you rolled up in front of my place and just,” he waited quietly, the one arm wrapped around her waist drawing music notes only he could decipher into her skin. “There was something about you that completed me more than a simple crush on some blond model could. And all those little moments you and I had with the ice skating, your first live performance, even your akumatized self, they cemented those feelings gradually. It was always this sliver of the truth of what my feelings for you meant, but looking back on it, I knew I loved you in that moment and was willing to let go of this one massive crush I had on my classmate to bask in someone who gave me their undivided attention.”</p><p>He didn’t know how to respond to that, words his late teenager self would’ve sold his soul to hear. Instead, he nudged her jaw lightly and kissed her soundly when she turned to face him. Hoping there was more truth that could be conveyed that he couldn’t express with words or music.</p><p>She smiled against his lips, “So, when I got to that dumb party of the Bourgeois’s, I found myself switching your name to just those two heart emojis. I took away your name though in hopes no one would put two and two together.” She huffed, remembering that’s exactly what Rose did when Luka texted Marinette saying he would be late to practice and Rose saw her phone.</p><p>“I wish I knew before, I panicked every time you sent me something funny and were sitting near me to see my phone.”</p><p>“It’s in the past, we’ve got now, don’t we?”</p><p>“I suppose, but the now currently has rapidly cooling bath water.” He bit out, carefully standing and stepping out. He dried himself off and wrapped the dark towel around his waist before grabbing another and helping her stand and step out. He let the water drain as he crouched in front of her to dry the water off and then covered her shoulders with cotton cloth.</p><p>They both got dressed for sleep quickly and he was under the covers when he noticed her slip jeans from earlier back on. He sat up and felt the panic again, his mind already supplying him with a cautious tone before he knew he was speaking.</p><p>“You’re leaving.”</p><p>“Yeah, I gotta get some stuff done at home. I hadn’t planned-,” she looked over at him as she tugged his hoodie over the button of the jeans.</p><p>His head hung low, hands twitching beneath his comforters and the corner of his lip wavering.</p><p>She quickly walked over to him, siting on the edge of his bed and pulling his body to lean against her upper half, pressing a kiss to his hair and forcing herself to breathe when he didn’t make movement to acknowledge her.</p><p>He always hated it when she left, she couldn’t imagine how much it hurt to be left alone when he was this sensitive and vulnerable.</p><p>“I’m sorry, baby.” She pressed her lips to his cheek as she got up and he flinched. “I’ve got something I need to take care of right away at the moment, I’ll see you. I love you.”</p><p>He made a small noise in the back of his throat, his only response that indicated how upset he really was. Luka wasn’t one to skimp out on returning her affections or loving words, especially those three.</p><p>He didn’t watch her close the door, didn’t watch the crack beneath the wood to see the pink glow of her transformation, didn’t hear the door to his balcony open when she lept off into the night.</p><p>Marinette hated herself the rest of the way there. Nearly stumbling into her own apartment that was five minutes away from his when tears spilled and her body dragged along the wall until she was sitting with her head tucked to her chest.</p><p>Small droplets fell to the black of her suit, missing the red completely with the new suit change. The rush of guilt filled her and she stood up shakily, searching her closet for one item in particular until she yanked it out with objects falling to the floor in its wake.</p><p>She ransacked her drawers and shoved clothes into the suitcase that had been tucked away for so long, grabbing shampoo and conditioner, her own towels, whatever she could think of within that moment. She grabbed the residual amount of work that needed to be done before stepping out onto the ledge of her building and closing the window. She bounded the suitcase to her back with her yo-yo before taking the longer way of jumping from building to building.</p><p>She stifled the crying, realizing she was closer to making this decision than she originally thought and had wanted it all along as she slid his door back open quietly and dropped transformation.</p><p>Despite her ever present concern for the couple, Tikki seemed thrilled for Marinette’s decision and spoke of praise as her wielder leaned against his kitchen counter by the balcony doors, trying to control her breathing.</p><p>They’ve been dating for three years now, and yet it took her this long to make such a drastic change in her life that she didn’t want to hold back from to begin with. She’d been holding out on Luka almost and when he needed her the most, she wondered how often he had those nightmares and was left alone in the dark.</p><p>Tikki searched for Sass that was resting on the couch in the living room area, pressing a peck to Marinette’s head before leaving.</p><p>In turn, Marinette crept quietly to his room, afraid to wake him up if he was sleeping and thanking the little kwami gods that her suitcase was a silent roller.</p><p>She closed the door gently behind her, pulling her jeans off and draping them on top of the suitcase’s handle before padding to his bed, reaching to play with his strands of hair again in comfort.</p><p>He turned, eyes redder than before and staring up at her in the dark, barely able to make out one another’s image if it wasn’t for her crouching to cross her arms on his bed and resting her chin on top of them.</p><p>“You’re back,” he breathed. Cerulean eyes searched her face for answers. When she left for home, she left for home. This was a first for them both.</p><p>“Yeah,” she replied, moving to hold along his cheek and smiling when he faintly hummed in content. “<em>I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”</em></p><p>He quickly leaned forwards, hands rushing out from under the blankets to cup her jaw and tilt her head up to kiss her properly, giving her the answer she needed as they parted with harsh pants. He shifted to her side of the bed for when she spent nights there, allowing her to slide in next to him.</p><p>They faced each other as she spoke, looking up at him, “Actually, I changed my mind.” She internally cursed when his entire body went rigid and his gaze dropped away from hers. She hadn’t meant it to come out that way, dwelling on the mistake though wouldn’t fix it. She found his hand where it rested between them, taking it in hers and smoothing away the tense lines in them. “Can I stay here every night?”</p><p>He didn’t breathe as his eyes met hers, “What?”</p><p>“Everyday as well?”</p><p>“Mari-,” he tried, choking on his words.</p><p>“Luka, can I live here with you?”</p><p>“God, yes. Please, anything you want.” He rushed out, tucking her beneath his chin when he pulled her to his chest and rolled himself onto his back, her on top of him and their legs tangled.</p><p>“You sure? I don’t want to rush you.”</p><p>“I’ve been sure since I moved here,” he stroked along her back, feeling her cuddle closer to him and pressing a kiss to his jawline. He tensed with remorse, “I’m sorry, for earlier.”</p><p>“Huh? What about?”</p><p>“I wanted to say it back, I just felt like I was crumbling and shutting down. Like it was my last defense. I didn’t want to do that to you.”</p><p>She pushed herself up, forearms bracing themselves on his strong chest and face staring at his. She kissed him slowly, “I won’t pretend to know exactly what you’re going through, but I can understand when you need me the most and to not isolate you with your memories. I’m here to talk if you ever want to, and I’m here to be held or to hold you when you need it.”</p><p>“You’re so fucking amazing, Marinette. I love you, really I do.” He maneuvered them some until he was the one on top of her, his larger and lean body draped over hers as his head rested against her chest.</p><p>Her hand rubbed gently at his shoulder, “I love you too, want to take the day off tomorrow and just sleep in? Spend time together, lazily?”</p><p>“Please, I need some alone time with you.” He adjusted his head some, “For now, I just need to listen to your heartbeat to drown out all the other sounds in my head.”</p><p>“It’s okay, love.” He pressed a kiss to her jaw, startling her as she made a squeak in surprise. “What was that for?”</p><p>“Nothing,” he failed to suppress his smile as her heart raced a bit faster, “Just, wanted to hear my favorite song’s crescendo; the quickening in your heart because of me, that the beating of it seems to drown out everything else.”</p><p>She blushed heavily as she pouted, fingers tracing shapes underneath his shirt, “You’re on this again?”</p><p>He grinned into the dark, pulling her closer, “My crescendo.”</p>
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